There’s something you guys should know about me.
I’m a starter. I love starting projects.
But I feel overwhelmed finishing them. When I first started this blog I had so much to share, so many ideas, so much potential for the tips, tricks, and hap-hazards of doing hair.
Then we moved twice- First to my parents to save money for a couple of months, then to Boston. Lucky for us there was almost two months before the chit hit the fan.
Winter. you S* of a B*.
The snow was glorious, the slip and slides- magical, but the thing that threw me into a pit of depression was the lack of light.
I am a summer child. Through and through. I roll with my windows down, if I even roll. Most of the time I prefer to walk, take the bus, or fantasize about being on a bike that I’ll never own. (My uncoordinated self would be dead in a day.)
My skin reacts magically too. As does most people’s in the sun. I swear, in the dripping heat I’d still get up, get dressed and be inspired. This is why Californians are always so happy… Well, that and other legal reasons.
Not here. There was a pivotal moment in transition when we moved here: 2 incomes to 1. While Studhubs is in Law School, he is unable to work. (Mandated for all law students cross-country) This we knew from the get-go. What we didn’t fully grasp is the amount of pressure we would both feel, mixed with the depression from apparent lack of light.
It was the most literal version of having “dark times.”
It started small. I just had a more difficult time getting out of bed. Then when I did I rationalized not changing out of my pajamas. The only person who would be seeing me was still 13 hours away from coming home, so why would ANYONE put on pants. (Law school is rough y’all)
I stopped eating. Then I ate too much. Then I became obsessive about what I was eating. Then I forgot to clean the house for three months. Seriously. Three months. It was a disaster.
I would punish myself for not being a good enough wife- then feel enraged that my husband wasn’t participating in any activities that would make us partners in this. He was tired. I was tired. It was rough.
Then, something magical happened two weeks ago. For one whole week it was nice outside. And by nice I mean it broke 60, and definitely didn’t go above 70, but there was sun. It changed everything.
I started getting up before my alarm. I made breakfast for us. I cleaned while he was gone. And [praise sweet Jesus] I took a shower.
At the last minute I got a tenant for the summer so that I could go with Hubs to Texas. *Where he’s summering at a couple of firms. I laid out our road trip itinerary and I started taking long walks with my dogs at 5:00… Because OMG it was starting to stay light out until 6:30 or 7. [instead of 3 or 4]
For the first time in ages- I feel happy, air headedly happy.
I bake. I clean. I put on pants. I walk my dogs. I almost eat normally. I’m returning to what I love: Hair, Designing, Sewing, Traveling, AND THIS BLOG.
There has been no shift in our circumstances, but the introduction of light into our lives is the most concrete evidence I’ve had that we are not cut out for the north. Kind of. At least if we do end up around these part we will require a “sunning room” with big, fake lamps to trick me into summa chil’ happiness.
Anyway, with the introduction of light into Boston/Cambridge, the style and shapes of humans are emerging. It is glorious. And something I will update on soon, as well as why Massachusetts is the worst state in the USA.
For now, I hope you are well, my friends. And that if you are east coasters, that you are soaking in the glory of light for as long at mother nature allows it.